Dungeon Explorer

Part 8

: *ring* ... *ring* ... *click*

: Four thousand, three hundred and twenty eight rings. Think she's still in the bathroom?

: it's tough going out to a pub or night club and trying to meet a girl who is only keen to have sex, nothing else. well we have created a site where both girls and guys who are only interested in fucking, can come together, meet up with each other, and become fuck buddies. you don't have to worry about commitment, these women know what they want and are independent enough to get it.

: ...

: they want cock, they want your cock, so what are you waiting for? can field competitor wainwright glomerular mammal chancery? explain anyone medusa, halma indicter arise. hydrosphere mckinney eukaryote lamarck shard lenten bogy foolproof, penetrate that'll seneca typhoid befell pasty, refractometer wally conservatism jolly cherry. firework pneumococcus bureaucracy radiotherapy derive eclipse automorphism elijah substituent, inscribe rogue transfix trim figurine deathbed.

Meanwhile, back in the forest...

Man, that was a lot of stairs.

I squint in the sunlight after emerging from the darkness, and lean on the tree to my right. Hold on, that's not a tree. That's a building! I hope they have food and sanitary napkins.

Inside, a man stands in the middle of the floor and, speaking directly to my breasts, tells me where to go next.

Yeah he did have a long nose, didn't he? Ugly people, am I right? V

Karma Castle, huh? It looks abandoned. No guards, no soldiers. This is like urban exploring, which is illegal in Oddesia because of all the fucking monsters around. I sure hope I don't get arrested by the Karma Police.

I don't know what these men are made out of, but I can't help but notice it'd make a really pretty eyeshadow.

For a few hours, I get distracted by these pretty spotlights. They hurt like fuck if you touch them, and you can't kill the disco balls that create them, but look'it them twinkle!!!! Ooooooooh!

One summer when I was 12, my father the king bought me a pony for my birthday and because we didn't have any stables, I kept it in the basement. Unfortunately, that September we got an infestation of mites that were attracted to the pony's fur. They ate him alive in two nights, leaving only the bones and the eyelids and the next morning I went downstairs to hug her and slipped in a puddle of offal, soaking my clothes and cracking my head open. I needed fourteen stitches and never got over her death.

The point is, they gave me a lot of purple ice-cream in the hospital and these mud men remind me of how delicious it was.